I’ve met and work with a lot of nice people. REALLY nice people!
Over the years what I’ve noticed is that at times decisions or actions relating to team members can be clouded by emotion and trepidation and so it’s easy to default to a situation of avoidance of a conversation and thus an acceptance of a win:lose situation.
Getting people to read books like #CrucialConversations or #RadicalCandor helps people to understand the importance of, and the practical steps to take in having, honest, direct and forward-moving conversations.
With lots of people there’s no shortage of niceness. What’s lacking though is assertiveness and so a phrase I find myself using is “iron fist, velvet glove”. The idea being that you can still be nice and handle a situation fairly and with dignity and respect at the same time as saying what you really mean.
Without the velvet glove an iron fist may well drive home the message yet leave people feeling hurt or undermined. That’s hardly a helpful situation!
Without the iron fist the velvet glove may feel nice and soft but nothing changes. That’s just weak and limp!
So, if you’re that “nice” person don’t bury your head in the sand. Develop your assertiveness